Ramblin' Man

"Father, hear my prayer. I need the perfect words. Words that they will hear and know they're straight from you. I don't know what to say. I only know it hurts to see my only friends slowly fade away. So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life with your fire in my eyes. But that old familiar fear is tearin' at my words. What am I so afraid of? 'Cause here I go again, talkin' 'bout the rain and mullin' over things that won't live past today. And as I dance around the truth, time is not their friend. This might be my last chance to tell them that you love them...But here I go again." - Casting Crowns

So far, in my blog writing "career," I have only written a post when I had a personal life example or story to go with it. I do that because I find it has more of an impact. When someone can see that you've experienced first hand what you're talking about, they seem to be more drawn in to it, more likely to take what you say seriously. Today is not one of those days. I don't really have a particular story in mind or a personal example to share, just some personal feelings I've been dealing with lately. I have a lot weighing on my mind and heart and I just need to get it all out there because maybe, just maybe, I'm not the only one struggling with these issues.

My heart is burdened for my friends, my family, and for the people I encounter everyday while I'm going on about my normal life. I see people struggling with circumstances they feel they can't change and I see people looking for a hope to break through and rescue them. None of these issues are things unheard of, but rather they are so common that they are often forgotten or seen as less important than they really are. Divorce, affairs, lying, cheating, drinking, porn, music that erodes the soul, sexual promiscuity, and any other thing you can think of that is commonplace in the carnal life. These things are affecting people and causing them to die slow deaths. For those of you who are not saved, I am afraid for you and I feel for you because you are dealing with these things alone. For those born again, don't think that we are above such things. Don't think for one minute that we can tune out just because we have a Savior who died setting us free. We are not immune to the world and it's temptations. If anything, we have farther to fall because we often stand so high and mighty. 

I don't intend to discuss every one of those issues at length or even at all, but I would like to briefly comment on a few of them over my next few blog posts that are nearest and dearest to my heart. With each new post I'll be giving my opinions, and maybe a story or two, on a different subject from the list I gave earlier. I hope that, while reading, you'll take the time to consider whether or not I could be speaking to you directly and what you can do about it. I'll be asking myself these same questions. And remember, there is always a choice and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel; only you can decide if that light comes from a speeding train about to take you under or the light of the Son who loves you with an undying, unwavering love.

Today I'd like to talk about drinking. There is quite a big debate going on about drinking and whether or not the Bible directly or indirectly forbids it or whether its even an issue it discusses at all. I am not an expert on the subject and I don't and won't ever claim to be one. I have opinions and I am entitled to them and I hope you will take them as such and no more. To me, drinking is indulging in unnecessary temptation. It's playing with fire and hoping not to get burned. Alcohol impairs judgement which can bring about anything from embarrassing situations to deadly accidents. This year alone, 10,839 people will die in drunk-driving crashes- one every 50 minutes (MADD.org). That's insane! By the time I'm done editing this blog, two or three people will have been killed because of the effects of alcohol. It's needless death! 

Now, I know that most people will look at this and say something like, "that's not going to be an issue for me, I'm only a social drinker or I know what my limits are." I think I hate those reasons more than any other. It somehow seems as if some believe they are above making mistakes. Like they are above having one too many in a happy social setting. I have news for you...you aren't. No one is. And, just for arguements' sake, say that you are. What about the person sitting next to you? What about the child looking up at you? Will your self-control seep into them? Can they hold their liquor like you can? In these situations, I find it's always better to remember Romans 14:13-23:

"Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way. I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense. It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak. Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin."

What do you say when you are witnessing to someone and they turn you off because they know where you were last Friday night? Down at Silverado's drinking shots of Patron...socially of course. They begin to think, "Why would I want to be a Christian when you are not acting any different then me?" We should be shining examples not stumbling blocks for our brothers and sisters who may struggle more in that area than we might.

Looking at this from another angle, 1 Corinthians 16:19-20 says this: 

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 

How is drinking alcohol, something known for its harmful side affects, a good way to honor God with the body He gave you? Newsflash: it's not! He bought us for a price. That price wasn't cheap...it cost Him His very life! He gave up His life to set us free and we do what in return? Sour our minds with drink? Drink that has no real benefit? I get that wine has antioxidants etc, etc...but come on. Does that one tiny benefit out weight the mass amount of harm caused by alcohol? Not even close.

There are so many other wonderful drinks in life, why do we have to have the ones that can not only quench our thirsts (temporarily) but our very lives? Personally, I would rather have a milkshake and never have to worry about what clothes (not to mention dignity) I left on the dance floor of some bar. I'd rather drink sweet tea and not have to wonder if taking one more sip would end the life of another. I'd rather sip on ice water than fill myself with something toxic that would keep me from using my body and my mind to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I'd rather just not even go there...its more trouble than its worth. 


Again, I'd like to make it clear that I am not an expert on what the Bible does or doesn't say about drinking. Maybe I should be or try to be more knowledgeable in that regard. The truth of the matter is that what I do know makes me want to stay away from it. I know that it can kill people, break apart families, and destroy the mind and body. I know that I don't want to cause someone else to stumble in their walk with Christ just because I may want a drink occasionally. I refuse to even cross that bridge...I want to only do what will glorify God and edify others.

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Doppleganger

"I never did like the word mediocre. I never wanted it to be said of me. Just point me to the top and I’d go over, looking for the very best that could be. So what is this thing I see going on inside of me? When it comes to the grace of God sometimes it’s like I’m playing gameboy standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon. I’m eating candy sittin’ at a gourmet feast. I’m wading in a puddle when I could be swimming in the ocean. Tell me what’s the deal with me? Wake up and see the glory!" - Steven Curtis Chapman

Music. In today's world that one simple word is the topic of many controversial discussions: Contemporary or traditional? Hymns or choruses? Fortunately this is not exactly the topic I will be discussing. Similarly however, I will be discussing one aspect of music that has affected me and my walk with God for better and for worse. I love music; country and Christian in particular. I grew up listening to my father sing while he played his acoustic guitar. My parents are divorced so those moments were few but they were and remain precious to me. They are, in fact, some of my favorite memories concerning my father. He would sit on the couch with his guitar and my brother and I would sit Indian-style on the floor just looking up at him and listening. Whether it was "Walk The Line" by Johnny Cash or "The Fightin' Side Of Me" by Merle Haggard, it didn't matter. I just loved watching him strum on that acoustic and sing to us. 


As a teenager, those songs changed from Merle and Johnny to N'sync and the Backstreet boys. I even fancied myself a choreographer for a while in middle school. It was ridiculous and when I think back to it I am utterly embarrassed. However, when I hear the opening notes to "Bye Bye Bye" I can't help but smile and sing along. Now, as an adult, I love the likes of country singers Taylor Swift, Luke Bryan, and Lady Antebellum. I also love Christian artists like Sidewalk Prophets, Casting Crowns, and Third Day. As you can see, my taste in music has changed quite a bit. One thing that has stayed the same however, is the fact that whatever genre I was into at the time, or even now, the impact of that music has stayed with me. Songs like Faith Hills' "Like We Never Loved At All" got me through a break up and songs like "Words I Would Say" by the Sidewalk Prophets help encourage me when I feel like things are going wrong in my life. These songs stick with us. They encourage us, bring us up or down, bring tears to our eyes, make us laugh...every emotion under the sun has a song to go with it. Every life situation, good or bad, has a lyric made just for such an occasion. 


With that in mind, I was thinking about how often I look for a song to associate to particular situations in my life. I'll be listening to a T.V. show or a friend speaking and something they say will trigger the memory of a certain set of lyrics stored away in my mind. I was sitting in church one Sunday listening to the preacher and he was speaking about lust and about how the journey from the mind to the hands is short. Immediately I thought of "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. This was a simple association because the words my preacher used were almost identical to the words in the song. I sat there and just kept thinking how cool it was that my preacher was talking about something I'd heard in a song. It made me happy and it made me smile thinking, "See? Who says there is anything wrong with contemporary Christian music? Pastor is almost talking about that song directly!"  I sat there smugly for a while and had basically tuned out the rest of what was going on.


The problem here is not whether contemporary Christian music is good or bad, that's another discussion entirely. Any guesses as to what the real issue was? I didn't realize it for a while after the service; months later actually...today to be precise. I had it all backwards! I would read my bible or listen to preaching and instead of being like, "Yes Pastor Zach, I remember that scripture!" I was more focused on what song it reminded me of. The truth of the whole matter is that I have more songs memorized than I have scripture. So, while those songs are great (especially because they are Bible inspired), why settle for a song that only reflects the true treasure of scripture? After all, isn't that where most Christian artists got their inspiration? Its not the other way around, songs didn't inspire the Bible...God did. The scripture that Pastor Zach was referring to was 1 Corinthians 10:12 which says to "be careful if you think you stand, lest you fall." That's the verse that inspired Mark Hall to write the song "Slow Fade" and that's the text that Pastor Zach used to support his sermon. It is sad that I recognized the song but not the verse.


In Psalm 119:15 it says "I shall meditate on Your precepts and consider Your ways." We should be taking the time every day to think about God's words so that we can have them on the tip of our brains, ready to call them forward for the different situations in our lives. We do this with songs, or at least I do, so why not with the Word of an All mighty God which are far more important and eternal in value? Our discussion should not be whether we should choose hymns or choruses but whether or not we are choosing either for the right reason. Are they enhancing the scripture or detracting from it? Are they bringing focus to God or are they bringing focus to the singer or songwriter? I have been invited to several churches where the main thing wasn't God, it was the Worship leader and the praise band. "Why should I come here?" I'd ask and the response given was "Well, we have a great worship band!" What I should have said was "Whooptie do! What about a great preacher who tells about a great God? What about a Sunday School teacher that helps you learn about The Great Teacher? What about a choir or praise band that sings songs about the one who inspired the Psalms?" 


But I didn't. 


Why? Because I didn't have the right focus. I was settling for less than the best. I was content to settle for piece of the puzzle instead of striving to have the whole grand picture. Its kind of like the moon and the sun. The sun is the source of light. The moon simply reflects that light. Would you rather have a reflection or the source itself? Similarly, why settle for a mere reflection of the Son, Jesus Christ, in song when we could have the source itself through His word? I don't want to settle anymore. I want the real thing! I want God to speak to me first hand through His Word and not be content to hear it second hand from someone else. 


Besides...I never did like the word "mediocre."   ;)

**Disclaimer: I just wanted to briefly state for anyone who may be confused, that I am in no way condemning either hymns or contemporary choruses. I love using music to enhance a point and feel it can impact people in ways that a simply spoken word can't sometimes. I just wanted to make it clear that scripture should come first. Its amazing to have music with godly lyrics because that only helps our walk, but I just didn't want to get so caught up in the music that I forgot who inspired it. Hope this is a little more clear.**

Newtons' Law

"Character is much easier kept than recovered."  - Thomas Paine

Isn't it funny how a single event in the life of someone else can bring memories from your own past flooding back to you? That is how it was with me anyway. An acquaintance of mine recently got married and just the thought of it threw me back about 6 and 1/2 years ago. You see, he wasn't an acquaintance exactly, but an ex-boyfriend. Now, I feel no love for this person, a simple kind of indifference actually, but it just amazes me to think of where I was back then when we were together. I think of all the choices we made and how much my life has changed since then. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 and Lord knows that I would change almost 100% of everything that happened back then but He also knows, as does everyone else, that I cannot. 

The honest truth is that I never should have dated him in the first place. As awful as it sounds (and is), he was mostly a distraction. You see, I had already met the man I was going to marry. Robert and I met my very first week of college at the TTU bookstore. I left that store knowing he was my future and I told everyone so. A few weeks later, however, I found out he had a girlfriend. I was upset with God and impatient. I wanted someone right then. I didn't want to be left out or dateless to homecoming or any of the many other events TTU would host in the coming year. Around this time I met my ex and we became friends. We already hung out with some of the same crowd and so it was easy to be around him and he was easy to like. We started dating. It was wrong of me because I knew in my heart of hearts I was going to marry someone else. I knew that I didn't love him and I never would. I just needed someone to help me bide my time. It was wrong and heartless of me. I did it anyway. I guess my payback came when he broke up with me four months later. It was the first time I'd ever been broken up with and I didn't handle it very well. It shocked me if I were to be honest and I don't know if I was more angry because I didn't get there first or hurt because my pride was shaken. Either way, I deserved it.

To this day I don't believe my ex knows that whole story (though obviously he might now if he were to ever read this) and it really doesn't matter to me if he ever does. As awful as I know I was for behaving that way, he had his own share of issues that he brought to the table and, both together, made for a really bad four month relationship that should never have happened in the first place. Both of us had hearts elsewhere and because of that, we each caused the other a great deal of pain and aggravation that, to this day, is unresolved and has affected nearly every one of the friendships we made in college. Our bitterness towards each other did a lot of damage and ripples from those waves are still moving forward today.

I say all of that and lay my conscience bare before you because I realize now with absolute certainty that my choices do not only affect me but everyone around me. I've written about bitterness, I know, and I probably will again, but for now bitterness is simply an end result of what I will actually be discussing: bad choices. Most things that people regret, if not all, are the result of bad choices we've made at one time or another. I have made many, many, many bad choices in my life; just ask my mother and father. I have hurt people and I have ruined friendships. I'm not proud of it...any of it. I used the example of my ex because he is a shining example of how long the consequences of bad choices can last. I'm still suffering those consequences: bitterness, anger, a loss of friendships, etc...I'm still working on forgiveness after six years. I have this feeling that it will always be something I struggle with and that is my cross to bear for just one of my bad choices.


The Bible gives us so many examples of great men who made awful decisions: Lot, David, Moses, etc...those decisions almost seem to define who they are now in our memories. Who can think of David without thinking of his adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband? Who can think of Lot without thinking about Sodom and Gomorrah and his wife turning into a pillar of salt? Who can think of Moses without thinking of how God forbade him from entering the promised land because of his disobedience? Not me. Some of these men also did great things as David was a man after Gods' own heart, and Moses helped set his people free, but how much less turmoil would they have suffered if they had simply made better choices? These men spoke to God and were led by Him and they still messed up. How can we even have a chance of doing what's right? It feels that way sometimes; like there's no hope for us if there was no hope even for men like David and Moses.


But there is...


We just have to realize bad choices often come from bad (or wrong) desires. We need to consider the condition of our hearts when we are making these choices. What are our motivations? Do they bring glory to God or do they shame Him and us? Often there is no pause between what we think we want and actually going after it. We don't take that extra second to think, "Is this ok? Should I be wanting this?"  I doubt David, after seeing Bathsheba in all her beauty, paused to ask Himself what God would have him do. Because we rarely take any time to consider the right and wrong of a thing in the moment, then maybe we should resort to already knowing. Maybe we should decide beforehand that we will seek God's face as often as we can so that when a rough choice comes to us, we will already have that information stored away. We will have more to go on and know more about how to avoid putting ourselves in compromising positions in the first place.  


Avoidance is the key and our best line of defense. Proverbs 5 talks about the mysterious woman and her cunning ways and says this in response: "Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel." If we made the choice to not even walk by her house then we would not have to even consider all the problems laying with her could cost. In verses 3-6 she is described this way, "For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it." Finally, in verses 11 through 14 it describes the aftermath of being with such a woman: "At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors. And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people.”


If we listen to our Lord and do what His Word says then we can avoid some serious trouble.  We should also consider the advice of those who have come before us such as our parents or grandparents or even friends. I often regret not listening to my mother on many occasions. She had far more wisdom than me and I refused to listen sometimes. I brought unnecessary pain upon myself by not heeding her warnings. We often feel this crazy need to live and learn...we believe we must experience things and make our own mistakes and figure it out on our own...why? Why intentionally ignore good advice and sound wisdom for the sake of going through it ourselves? We love to sing songs like "God Bless the Broken Road" because it rings of redemption and of how everything bad in our lives can all work out for the better. It glorifies the mistakes we've made "because they point us down paths that make us who we are." I for one don't want to live that way anymore. I don't want the "freedom" to make mistakes with consequences if there is even a slight chance to avoid them. I can accept them if and when I slip, but again, why not do what I can to eliminate the possibility of it occurring more often than needed? 


Though I used the example of the mysterious woman and sexual mistakes, there are far more examples out there. This one of sexual immorality is simply a more easily recognizable one. We can make many many other ones including ones at work, ones with friends and parents, financial ones, etc... We just need to see that every action/choice we make has a consequence. I for one intend to try making better choices and thus have better outcomes. 

Photo: Creatively edited by me